Yes, I’m a military wife. But it’s not what you think.
When Z enlisted, I had no idea what being a military wife meant. All I knew was that I was super proud of him, we’d be spending some time apart, and that we were about to embark on a life changing adventure. He left for basic and I was left behind in Ohio with no one around me that understood the military lifestyle and how to cope with the feelings I was having. So I turned to the internet; I chatted with other military girlfriends, fiancés, and wives in Facebook groups and asked question on forums. I found comfort in the common ground that I shared with these women and the days didn’t seem so hard when I had their support.
I wanted the world to know I was an army wife; I bought shirts, bags, keychains, you name it. If it said army wife, I wanted it. And up until that point, I had nothing but great experiences with the other military wives I had come into contact with or the response I received when I told someone my husband (boyfriend at the time) was in the army.
And then I started to hear stereotypes… horrible stereotypes that made me want to conceal the fact that I had any relationship to a man in the military. I didn’t want to be one of these women I kept hearing about.
…are all drama.
…have a high divorce rate.
…are gold diggers.
…are always popping out kids left and right.
…are always cheating on their spouses.
…are backstabbing bitches.
…go crazy over anything free.
…are young and inexperienced.
…complain about everything.
…married a soldier just to marry someone.
…got married to make money or live together.
But let me tell you something. If I’ve learned anything about being a military wife, it’s that it is what you make it. And yes, some of these stereotypes are true but majority of them branch from a few bad apples that gave the entire orchard a bad name.
Military wives are some of the strongest women I’ve ever met in my life. I personally know women that have sent their husbands off to war five or six times and taken care of children, a household, a career, and themselves when they’ve been gone.
I know women who have started their own businesses while attending school and taking care of a household, children and pets.
I know women who have received a phone call that their spouse had been injured overseas and watched their faces turn white with fear, panic, and pain.
I’ve known women who have delivered their first born with their spouse on Skype. And then watched them reunite with their spouse and their baby 7 months later for the first time.
I have had the pleasure of becoming friends with military wives who I now call my family; who have been there for me more than anyone else has when the times get rough.
…are strong as hell.
…love their spouses to the ends of the earth.
…find comfort in perfect strangers who share the same lifestyle.
…pick up and move time and time again.
…raise their children alone.
…wait and pray for a phone call after weeks of no contact.
…say goodbye and send their spouses off to war without choice.
…are one of a kind.
So yes, to be honest, sometimes I don’t like to consider myself a military wife because I fear that others will judge me to be one of the stereotypes listed above. But then I’m overwhelmed with the pride I feel for being married to a soldier and for the hardships we’ve overcome. And then I don’t gives a rats ass what anyone thinks about me. Because I know what we’ve been through and I know the type of women I’ve met during our time in the army.
Bad ass women who have been through hell and back and still hold themselves together better than anyone.
Would bend over backwards for their friends or family.
Hold their babies close and their spouses even closer.
Have held my hand during some of the scariest times of my life.
Reminded me that being a military wife is one of the greatest honors in the world.
And I couldn’t be more thankful for that.
“From one military wife to another, be sure to check out this month’s featured blogger!”