The things no one tells you about having a baby.

What I’m about to tell you may shock you. In fact, it may actually scare you. But in the spirit of full disclosure, it is not meant to scare you. But rather, it’s meant to educate you on the things that no one tells you about having a baby.
If you don’t want to know, then skip today’s post. And if you can’t/don’t want to handle talking about bodily functions, skip today’s post.
You all know how much I despised being pregnant, but the actual birth is a beautiful thing. Well, not literally because it’s actually quite messy. But hearing a new born baby’s first cries and holding that precious little nugget for the first time is one of the greatest things I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.
But there were a lot of things that happened immediately after having baby and in the coming weeks that no one really warned me about. So with that my friends, I bring you the things no one told me about having a baby.
1. You will have cramps after you deliver. Your uterus will shrink and it seriously feels like the contractions you feel when you go into labor. And if you have a good nurse, she will push on your belly to help it contract and shrink it as quickly as possible. Nursing will do this too; every time you nurse for the first few days, it will feel like contractions. And it hurts… I will not sugar coat that. But you get through it and you move on. There will be other things to worry about…
2. You will bleed. Yes, that whole not having a “time of the month” thing that happens when you’re pregnant for 9 months? You’ll have it for a few weeks straight after delivering. You can’t wear tampons, so your only option is to wear pads. Go with a brand and style that are comfortable because with your new baby-less body, you’ll want to wear something that helps you feel comfortable and confident to wear certain outfits or pieces. AKA maternity clothes or extra loose clothing.
3. You may tear or need an episiotomy (cut).  This happens quite frequently and it’s really not that big of a deal. You will get stitches that will dissolve and if you have an epidural, you won’t feel them stitching you up at all. You will have a little more discomfort during the healing process but pain meds will help with this.
4. You have to deliver your placenta. And it looks like a jellyfish. No but seriously, you will need to give a few pushes to get that thing out. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. And never want to see again.
5. You may not be able to feel your legs for hours. I received an epidural with my first delivery and a spinal block with my second and let me tell you, it was AWESOME. I literally couldn’t feel a thing and it made labor so much more enjoyable. However, everyone handles pain differently and I truly respect women who deliver without drugs. But anyways, I was unable to feel my legs and walk for a few hours after delivery and until then, I just had to lay there. They will not let you leave the delivery room and head to your recovery room until you can walk AND use the restroom.
6. External catheter: If you think you don’t need to pee and tell them that, they will make you try. And if you can’t go, they will attach an external catheter and excrete it for you. Weirdest thing ever but I couldn’t feel it so whatevs.
7. Supplies: Mesh underwear, a spray bottle, Witch Hazel pads, and ice packs will be your best friends. The hospital will provide you with all of these things, but make sure to ask for extra before you get discharged. I used these things for a few weeks and wished I would have asked for more!
8. You will be emotional. Yes, people have told you that one but until you’ve experienced, it’s unexplainable. You will be tired to the point of seeing things and go from angry to sad to excited to bitch in 3. 4 seconds. Try and take deep breaths and LET PEOPLE HELP YOU. I’m very self sufficient and hated asking for help but seriously, take any help you can get.
9. Your body will be different. I lost a TON of weight after having my first child and nursing him. Like 54 pounds to be exact. And yes, I’ve lost 34 pounds so far with Miss P but my body has changed. It’s just different; things are bigger, smaller, or wider in some places and I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with that. Working out may fix some of the problems but who knows, I’ve delivered two healthy babies and things are just different now.
10. Your boobs will leak. I can’t speak for women who don’t breastfeed but if you do, you will leak. For a few weeks and maybe months. Until your baby and body get on the same page of how much milk to make, your body will be playing cat and mouse chase with the supply and demand. Nursing pads will be your best friends! I personally used disposable ones but the ones in the picture below are machine washable and organic, which is certainly a plus for some people. We aren’t talking a waterfall leak but it can be a shock if you aren’t expecting it!
With so many surprises after having a baby, I felt that it would have been nice to have been a little more prepared. Nothing can prepare you emotionally but physically, there were things I could have done!
I put together this post-baby mommy kit for a friend as she prepares to welcome her second baby into the world. The hospital will give you a ton of supplies upon discharge but it never hurts to include some extra goodies! You can certainly customize this for the new mom in your life but here are a few things I picked up to include in this one:

 Post baby kit for new mom includes:

Gel Eye mask
Loofa with extended arm
New Mama Healing Kit
Udder Covers Breast Pads
Hair ties
Stretch briefs

Having children is one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my life. People forget how “scary” childbirth is because people have multiple children everyday (clearly I did). But for me, being prepared always helps ease anxiety and I hope these little “secrets” will help you all feel better too.

What things do you wish someone had told you about having kids? Tips? Tricks? 
It's time to get REAL friends. I'm going to tell you all of the things no one tells you about having a baby. You'll thank me later...





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