|Cichic dress c/o// Naya sandals via onlineshoes.com (old but great option here)// Headband (old but similar here)// Timex watch c/o// The Shine Project bracelets// Marc by Marc Jacobs sunglasses// Monogrammed clutch (store no longer around but option here)|
I’m not sure how we are almost through June but this year is FLYING. And this time next week, we will be on our way to Ohio for two weeks of glorious vacation time.
I know what you’re thinking, who the heck vacations in Ohio? But, it’s where we are from and it’s where our family is so to us, that’s vacation. And my parents live on a lake and just bought a new boat so I think that fits somewhere in a vacation mold, right?
But we are super excited to visit and see everyone. We plan to go to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, a Cleveland Indians game, spend time on the boat, attend our friends 4th of July party, baptize Miss P, and much, much more.
And although I normally dread the 13 hour drive, I’m actually looking forward to this little adventure.
Adventure. My new favorite word.
I will admit that I’ve had a bad attitude about a lot of things that have happened in the past few weeks. While Zach was away at school, I was struggling to balance my new job, playing mommy and daddy, training our puppy, and keeping this house from looking like a tornado flipped it.
When Z told me he was possibly deploying, I was sick to my stomach thinking of him leaving again. Of course I’ll miss him but I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about what he will see, what he will do, and what he will miss. I’m worried about my kids; mostly Nolan since he’s at the age where he knows what’s going on but at the same time, I’m hopeful he will never remember anything about deployment or daddy being gone.
But with everything going on, I’ve actually felt a sense of peace with all of this. When Z deployed the first time, I literally cried everyday leading up to it and was terrified of sending my husband to war and never seeing him again. But this time, I’m taking a more positive approach.
It’s happening. This is what it is. And it’s time I start looking at it like a new adventure.
As I mentioned the other day, I am extremely thankful for everything the army has given us thus far. We have lived in upstate New York, somewhere we never would have chosen had we not been stationed there. We’ve been given a chance to live in the south, somewhere we’ve always wanted to try out but probably wouldn’t have had this not be one of the duty stations open after his school. And who knows, there may be one more stop on the list before his contract is up.
But this entire experience has been an adventure, and I’ve just yet to look at it like that. I miss my family and friends in Ohio but I know when we move back there in a few years, they will still be there and we will jump right back into where we left off. Zach absolutely loves his job and it makes my heart so happy that he doesn’t dread going to work everyday. And although this deployment is going to be hard for all of us, I’m thankful he will be doing something he loves. He needs that, he deserves that, and I’m much less worried about him going because of it.
I’ve received a lot of emails, messages, and texts about this entire situation and I’m so thankful to have such an amazing support system. And while people keep asking me how I’m doing and I of course appreciate that, please know that I have it easy when it comes to all of this. He’s the one leaving and facing combat and that is what worries me the most.
I can deal with Skyping, emailing, and talking on the phone for 9 months; we’ve done it before and we will do it again. Hell, I’m thankful to have that over snail mail like they used to!
But If we’re being honest, my biggest fear is him not coming home and that scares the shit out of me. But the first thought through my mind, and most people’s minds when their spouse deploys is “will they come home?”
It breaks my heart to think that but it’s a reality we must face. And then it comes down to whatever greater power you believe in; God, the universe, karma, whatever. You just have to stop worrying, let go, and believe that it will all be okay.
So turning a new leaf, these next few months and years are all about adventure. Exploring Georgia, enjoying vacations, giving our children opportunities, loving deeply, and growing as individuals and a couple.
I can’t wait for our 13 hour car ride next week; sing-a-longs, 20 questions, silly pictures, hotel stays, reminiscing, movies, snacks, rest stops. All of it.
Life is an adventure and I can’t wait to fully embrace this crazy one.
“Grab a glass of wine, lace up your running shoes and stop by for a visit!”