Boys are fun. They’re active, they’re imaginative, they’re funny. But they’re also gross, honest, and silly in the most inopportune times. And over the past three years, I’ve learned that the list of craziness only gets longer as time goes on. I’m sure having a teenage boy will present a ton challenges, but for now, my three year old, or rather my “threenager” is giving me a run for my money.
Always check the toilet seat before you sit down. Always. Even if they tell you they wiped it off, don’t be fooled by their sweet smiles and the smell of clean hands.
Boys need more clothes than girls. He will change 3 times a day, sometimes because he wants to wear shorts in the middle of winter or other times because he spilled water on his shirt and IT WILL NEVER DRY! He must change. And he must get the clothes and put them on ALL BY HIMSELVES.
He’s always hungry. Immediately after eating, he’s starving and needs something else. Stock your fridges mamas, he will Tazmanian Devil that shit if you aren’t locked and loaded.
He will tell you he hates you. And it will break your heart the first time and then you will realize he doesn’t even know what that means. He will also hate his shoes when he puts them on the wrong feet or his pants when he can’t get them on by himself. Doors that don’t open, juice cups that are empty, and the dog when she doesn’t want to play with him. He will hate all of those things too.
The only way to get through a shopping trip is bribery. Whether with snacks from your purse, candy at the checkout, or a special “prize” when you get home. I told myself I would never be “that parent that gives in to her screaming toddler” and most of the time, I’m not. Why? Because I’ve already had a conversation about what needs to get done and talked about his “payment” before entering the store. Pick your battles people…
He doesn’t want to take pictures. He doesn’t have time for them. He has a train to set-up or a town to save with his superheroes. So unless you’re being sneaky or bribing him with something, forget about it.
He won’t sit still for more than three minutes. And that three minutes is usually while he’s pooping. From dawn till dusk he will be moving, exploring, getting into trouble, and running around.
He has two speeds: sleeping and running.
Be careful when calling someone (like your infant) “chunky”. Next thing you know, your toddler will tell you that you’re chunky…probably in public.
That whole “boys like to get dirty” thing? It’s a lie. Toddler boys are perfectionists, neat freaks if you will. If there is dirt involved, you better have a change of clothes.
He has the craziest imagination. He will want to play “airport” or “Starbucks” one minute and then play “Sandlot” or “Zombies” the next minute. But he does have a sweet side and he may want to play “Sleeping Beauty” and wake up his princess (his mom) every once in awhile too.
Be prepared to get called a “booty butt”, “peepee monitor”, “pineapple underpants”, you name it. It will usually happen when you’re in public and people will look at you like you have a disease they can catch by overhearing it.
He will get even sillier when he’s around his friends. They will have name-calling fights, make it rain toys off the balcony, and laugh about absolutely nothing at all. But it will be music to your ears.
He’s still a mama’s boy. He wants to snuggle you when he’s hurt or tired. He will choose you to wash his hair in the tub or wipe his butt. He wants you to get him juice and if anyone else even tries to do these things, may God have mercy on their souls.
Raising boys is a challenge but super fun. They will go from happy to devil in 3.4 seconds. They will be laughing one minute and crying the next. But they add something to your life that I can’t even begin to explain. If you’re a boy mom, you get it 🙂
What do you love about being a boy mom? What have you learned from raising a toddler boy?