TGIF. I’ve woken up in a pretty good mood most days this week but today I woke up and felt like Oscar the Grouch. I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few days and just felt overwhelmed by it all. I’m a control freak, something I struggle with because of my anxiety, and when things go slightly awry and not to my liking, it stresses me out. We’ve been thinking a lot about our future and our plan for the next few years, and it’s hard. Do we continue this life or do we check out and head back to the civilian world? When? How? Can we afford to do that? Will we find jobs? How will the kids adjust?
I’ve also been stressed about some of the relationships in my life. It is so hard to keep in touch with family and friends sometimes. I know what you’re thinking, pick up the phone and call them. But trust me, even that isn’t an option sometimes. My kids are always screaming in the background or I’m enjoying 5 minutes of quiet time while a baby sleeps in the backseat before I pick the other one up. There are time zone differences, work schedules, etc and sometimes it just doesn’t work out. It’s been months since I’ve talked to some of my friends other than a quick group text and it makes me so sad. I miss college and being able to walk across the hall and talk to them. Or knowing exactly what was going on in their lives. My friends pre-college were just a 10 minute drive away and if anything, I would see them at school the next day. It was easier then.
Making new friends at this age is difficult (I’ve written about it here before). And I think other military wives may attest that making new friends as a military spouse can be slightly more challenging. You think it would be easier given the fact you’re all in the same position, with moving and starting over every few years. But that doesn’t always seem to be the case. A lot of wives keep to themselves and it’s kind of awkward to start a conversation while thinking in the back of your mind “want to be my friend?” We made friends that turned into family at our last duty station and we have that here too. But one of my friends here is moving and the other runs a business, has two kids, and among a billion other things is swamped most of the time. I miss having a neighbor where I can just walk into her house and watch TV. Where it didn’t take plans or a 30 minute drive to see each other. I miss just having someone around all the time.
I just miss doing things and having people I can call to come over and do nothing but shoot the shit with me. This lifestyle can sometimes be lonely when you’re so far away from home and I just wish I had more people to turn to. I’m so thankful for the friends I do have in my life but sometimes it still just feels so lonely. Have you ever felt that way? What can be done to change it?
Anyways, let’s switch gears. It’s Friday and I’m looking forward to a good weekend! We have a lot of cleaning, organizing, and will be attempting to get P to sleep in her own bed… so wish us luck! That dress up there is another beauty from Sincerely Mary and I’ve had so much fun guest hosting on their Instagram account this week. Be sure to pop over there and say hello! And how great is this necklace? It’s another handmade treasure from Pearl Magnolia. Anything that has to do with Paris makes me happy. And don’t ask me why, because I’ve never even been there. But it’s on my Bucket List… that’s for sure.
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! And be sure to stop by tomorrow for another great Saturday Takeover post! xo