A hurting heart….

Do you know what it’s like to be in a room full of people and feel like everyone is whispering about you? 
I do.
Not that this scenario has ever happened in a literal sense, but I’ve heard it all:
“You’re engaged after knowing each other for three months?”
“You only dated for how long before you got married?”
“You were only married for how long before you got pregnant?”
“He’s in the Army?”
“Didn’t you know what you were getting into?” 
“I don’t feel bad for you, you were asking for this when you married a soldier.”
“Your life is too much; you just want attention.” 
“You just married someone to get married.”
“You don’t deserve special treatment.”
“You’re not strong enough.”
“You’re a terrible mother and had no business having children.”
Yes; all extremely hurtful words. I’ve heard this and much, much more from “friends”, “family”, and “colleagues.” Even writing this brings tears to my eyes to relive these moments in my life.
I’ve been told these things to my face, overheard them, and read them on Facebook.
And my question, is why?
Who are you to judge me and my life? 
Who are you to make me feel so insignificant? 
Who are you to think you’re better than me? 
Who are you to say such mean and hurtful things? 
Just when I think I’ve figured out the people I want and who deserve to be in my life, it’s as though God reminds me that they’re always going to be out there, with something to say. 
My challenge? How I react. 
I can choose tears (which I usually do) because it’s painful.
I can use my voice (which I can guarantee isn’t very nice when I’m being attacked).
I can use my words, to embarrass others as they’ve embarrassed me.
But better yet, I can use it as motivation to be kind. 
Kill them with kindness. 
Put on a smile.
Pay it forward.
Spread love in a world of hate. 
Pray for them.
Never, ever, stoop to their level. 
I’m better than that; I was raised better than that, and it’s a shame some people weren’t. 
Use this as a little reminder that we never know what someone else is going through, what’s happened in their life, or what challenges they’re working to overcome. 
Although it’s the holidays, I’ve been reminded of these rash type of people all too much lately. I’ve been struggling with how to deal with them and this is the conclusion I’ve come to…

Be kind. Because in the end, Karma will be a bigger b*tch than I could ever be. 




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