How do we move forward?

Is anyone else still in a rut after what happened at Sandy Hook? I feel like I’m grieving. I’m devastated, and I almost feel selfish saying that because I wasn’t directly affected by it. It just makes me sick every time I think of those poor children, parents, faculty, and community. 
It breaks my heart that we, as parents, have to fear sending our children to school. Just like I’m scared to go to the movies, or go on an airplane, or have my husband go off to war again. 
But Z will always tell me that’s no way to live my life. We shouldn’t live with fear in the back of our minds, but how can we not? 
I’m trying to find a balance between grieving for these victims and enjoying my time with family, but my heart is hurting. Certain things don’t seem as important and it just doesn’t feel like the holiday season. 
So here is my attempt to live in the moment and enjoy the things I do have control over; my family’s 1st Christmas together in 3 years, my son’s 1st Christmas ever, and celebrating the beautiful gift of life that I’m still lucky to have. 
I’ve learned a lot of lessons this past week and if anything, I’ve learned that life is not a guarantee. It’s a gift, a privilege, and tomorrow isn’t promised. If nothing else, it’s yet another reminder to hug our loved ones a little tighter, tell them we love them, and appreciate the time we have with them. 
Showing us where his belly is 🙂 
Reading his story
Seeing Santa!
Oh you know, just snuggling with Santa
We had a great time visiting with Santa. He took about 10 minutes with each kid and talked to them about what they wanted, being good for their parents, and much more. I can’t wait until Bubba is old enough to know who this jolly old man is and light up when he sees him. 
We enjoyed some quality time around the tree reading Christmas stories and playing. As you know, Bubba loves to give kisses, and right now, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my day. 
I hope everyone is having a great week. I know this feeling will go away in a few days but what kills me is that it will never go away for those families and that community. 
Please keep them in the back of your minds; when the news coverage ends, they will still be struggling with the hurt. Say prayers, donate time or money, send cards. If anything, live the life you’re still lucky to have. 




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