I’ve woken up in a “mood” the past few days. Just straight cranky. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s some frustration I’m feeling, maybe it’s a combination of both. But it’s just been blah around here the past few days.
Remember a month ago when we were trying to decide if my husband was going to stay in or get out of the military? Well we finally made our choice and now we are just waiting for the paperwork to process. I’ll share it here when I know it’s gone through but after the mess-up last time, I don’t want to jinx anything. We spent many hours debating, weighing the pros and cons, thinking of the future and accessing our opportunities. I think we are finally at peace with the decision and are just looking forward to the next steps now.
The kids had a nasty stomach bug last week and now have those annoying hacking coughs; I say annoying because it annoys the person who has it and anyone who has to listen to it. Just a constant tickle in your throat and coughing all night? Yeah, none of us have slept well. I went as far as to sleep on the floor the other night because I was so uncomfortable in bed. And I haven’t been sleeping well anyways but that’s a discussion for another day.
I’ve also been a little frustrated with the relationships in my life. I have to take responsibility too because living so far away from everyone and having my own life makes me somewhat unavailable at times too. But I didn’t hear from some people I thought I would on my birthday, some of my closest friends haven’t checked in after my panic attacks started, texts have gone unanswered and it seems like it’s just getting harder and harder to stay connected. It’s just made me open my eyes and take a look at some of the relationships in my life. Will they continue? Will things change? Is there anything else I can do to make them work? I don’t know. And it’s just been a hard realization given everything on my plate right now. I’m not perfect; I forget to respond or call back too. But it’s hard when you are reaching out to people in your life and they’re not there to reach back.
Speaking of panic attacks, I met with the doctor yesterday and discussed a plan moving forward. It felt good to discuss it and get some questions answered. I don’t know if they’re full on diagnosing me with panic disorder yet but I’m going to start doing a few things that hopefully help with everything going on. It’s all still crazy to me because it came out of no where and I still don’t know the trigger. But I guess that’s what we will be trying to find out over the next few weeks. I’m optimistic it will all get figured out and work out, and having a plan helps.
And last but not least… some exciting news! This space has always been my creative space. But I feel like there’s still something missing. I’ve been cooking up some ideas in my head and soon enough, I’ll be ready to share them with all of you! There are going to be some new types of posts and series but also something completely different and I can’t wait! So stay tuned 🙂
Hope you all have a bearable Tuesday…see you tomorrow! xo