The best I can be.

Well friends, our weekend in St. Louis with the hubby has come and gone. I’ll give you the full recap later this week; I can barely keep my eyes open any longer. But my heart is hurting tonight and I can’t wait for the next 67 days to fly by. As much as I hate wishing time away, I just miss my other half oh so much. I want my husband home and Bubba needs his daddy home too. 
I wrote this post last week and feel like it applies even more so after my trip this weekend….
As we approach the Terrible Twos stage, I have been trying to remain as patient as possible when it comes to meltdowns, tantrums, and more. On top of this, I am getting more and more pregnant and wanting to do less and less. However, that isn’t fair to Bubs and I am doing everything possible to not let how I feel affect his happiness. 
I’m not trying to toot my own horn with what I’m about to say, but merely share an observation on different parenting styles.
We go to gym class every Saturday, a gym for children. They jump, bounce, run, sing, dance, and play. He absolutely loves it and included in his membership are three extra days per week where I can take him and he can just run around during “open gym” if you will. Do I love it? Not always. I have to chase him around, make sure he shares and hoist him onto bars, blocks and more. 

But he loves it, and the happiness I see in his eyes means the world to me. So despite the fact that somedays I don’t want to go, I do. Because I do it for him
I attended a makeup class last week since we would be missing his regularly scheduled class due to our weekend in St. Louis. There were only two other moms there, both of their children a few months younger than my sweet little man. They were young, pretty, and had adorable children. 
But there was one thing that caught my attention right away… they had their cellphones with them the entire time. When class starts, I put my phone in my purse. For that one hour, at least that one hour, I devote my attention to my son. No phone. No texts. No emails. No calls. Nothing. 
The class is about interaction; these mothers weren’t even paying attention to their children let alone interacting with them. Yes, there are instructors who lead the class and teach different things along the way. However, they are not there to babysit and spend that precious time with the children. They provide different activities in the center of the room every couple of minutes and instead of involving their children in these activities, these mothers sat and played on their phones while their children roamed around.
We as parents should want to spend that time with our babies, who are only babies for so long. 
It just made me think about how much I value my time with my son. He may never remember me playing with his dollhouse and talking in pretend voices with him until 9:30 pm. Or chasing him around the dining room table because he think it’s the funniest thing in the world, even though I’m exhausted and extremely sore. Or singing him to sleep while he tugs at my hair as I try not to pass out first.
But I will. I will cherish these moments each and every second of my day. No matter how tired, how busy, or how much work I need to get done. There are certainly times throughout the day where I encourage him to play by himself and learn to entertain himself without the help of others. But I will only get these moments for so long; these moments that others may not think about the way I do. 

These moments are gold. I’m really not trying to be egotistical when I say this but it just made me realize how much I love being a mom and reminded me that although I may not feel like it sometimes, I AM doing a good job. I wanted to shake these others moms and be like “hello, you’re here for your child, not to socialize”. 
Sometimes we need these experiences in our life; these little things that make us realize we are better than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. I get so down on myself sometimes and it’s times like these that I can pat myself on the back and say “hey, you’re doing a great job and you’re a great mom.” 
Who knows, maybe these moms didn’t think much of it and consider themselves great moms as well. However, that is not the parenting style I choose for myself or my children. I want to be the hands-on mom who gets dirty, make believes, and has a relationship deeper than watching them play. I want to be the one playing with them. 
As we walked out of the gym, all I could do was smile. Because I realized that I’m doing the best damn job I can. I give 110% when it comes to being a mom and it made me feel good to know there’s not one more thing I could possibly do to be a better one. 


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