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…those who matter don’t mind.

My life is not perfect; I have a wonderful husband, the sweetest son, and the greatest family, but I’m human and there’s no such thing as a perfect life. 

I would consider myself kind, caring, and supportive; I would give you the shirt off my back if you needed it and I love to make my family and friends smile. I love giving gifts, I love sending greeting cards, and I truly believe I’m a good person. 

But there’s a time in my life when I wasn’t any of those things. I followed the crowd, I was selfish, and mean. I think we can all relate to a time like this in our lives, and majority of those characteristics appeared in my adolescent years. I wanted to be “cool” and would make fun of others, lash out when I was reprimanded, and didn’t take well to criticism. 

Although I’ve gained a plethora of life experience and learned countless lessons over the past 26 years, I’m still learning every day. I’m still learning that “Mean Girls” still exist, a lot of people still only care about themselves, and that no matter how many times I bend over backwards for others, it’s still not going to be reciprocated as it should. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not expect anything in return from others. I give gifts without expecting one back and do favors for others out of the kindness of my heart. I always send Thank You notes no matter how small the gift or gesture, make a big deal out of birthdays, and celebrate every holiday, big or small. That’s just me. I embrace life and try and do as much good as I can. 

But some people don’t live the same way I do. They steal, they cheat, they lie, they take advantage of others, and only care about themselves and getting ahead.  

If you’re a female, you can probably relate to what I’m about to say. 

From elementary school, to middle school, to high school, to college, and after, you’ve had a gazillion different “best friends”. Sure, you have 1 or 2 of the same friends you’ve known forever, but each year, with the new school year or changing of schools, you’ve met someone else to be your “best friend”, or at least a different group of girls to hang out with. 

Boys are different; boys meet a group of guys in Kindergarten and those are the guys that end up in their wedding. Girls go through battles and ups and downs and falling outs before they discover who their true friends are and even as an adult, things can change at any minute. 

Why is this? I have my own personal theories and these are solely my own opinions, but in my experience, this is what I’ve concluded. 

We compare ourselves to others more often than not. Some women are blessed with good looks, good bodies, athleticism, brains, social skills, etc. Some women are so competitive when it comes to these traits, that they can’t stand to be inferior. This creates an inner jealousy and the friendship suffers because one of the parties has no idea what they are doing wrong, when in fact it’s nothing more than the others’ insecurity. 

We’re all made differently and we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Be happy for your friend who fits in a size 0, celebrate with a friend who is engaged when you’re not, and accept it when your brother or sister gets married to someone you don’t like. Put your feelings aside and realize that no one is going to make this world a better place but us. It has to start somewhere. 

And besides that, girls are just down right dramatic. We’re emotional, and this often causes a problem when it comes to thinking clearly and rationally. I’m quick to react on emotion sometimes and it takes some serious strength and control to look at the bigger picture. 

Friendships and relationships are supposed to be easy. Letting people into our lives is supposed to enhance our experience on this Earth and make us want to be better people. There have been so many cases in my life when certain people have just dragged me down and brought more drama or troubles into my life than necessary. Why hold onto the negative when I want to focus on the positive? 

I’m not perfect; I’m real. When it comes down to it, life is too short to pretend to be someone I’m not and what you see is what you get. If you feel that you can’t be yourself around certain people in your life, ditch them now. I’ve spent too much time in my past walking on egg shells and it gets you absolutely no where. In fact, it only bites you in the butt later when you let someone walk all over you then finally stand up for yourself one day. 

Be yourself. Always. If someone doesn’t like it, tell them to hit the road. Friendships and relationships change, just like we do, and there’s no shame in going your separate ways. It may be sad at first, but one day you’ll wake up and realize that you’re SO much better off without them. Be you, and NEVER compromise that for the sake of someone else.  

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Thanks for the wisdom Dr. Seuss; you’re spot on with this one. Happy Wednesday loves 🙂 

“Check out this month’s featured blog, Life According to Kenz”

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