It’s okay to say “no” to visitors after having a baby
I see you new mama, you’re tired. I’ve been there (three times) and after just doing it again, I’ve come to a conclusion; it’s okay to say “no” to visitors after having a baby.
Having a baby is exhausting. And I’m not talking about the actual act of having a baby, but the first few days and weeks home after having the baby are mentally, physically, and emotionally draining.
With it being my third kid and all, I thought I would have my ish together and be able to handle having visitors in the first few days we were home. But turns out my hormones and anxiety had other plans and I found myself stressing out A LOT. I would make plans with people and then cancel on them because I was literally falling asleep sitting up nursing or on the verge of tears from pure exhaustion.
I felt guilty at first; I knew people wanted to meet the baby and stop by to visit. But the last thing I felt like doing was hosting, even if I didn’t have to actually host. Nursing a newborn is a challenge and involves a lot of focus, nursing pads, boobs out, etc. So nursing under a cover while people stop over really isn’t an option at this point. Did I mention how exhausting a newborn is? Holding a conversation isn’t exactly easy at this point and actually takes a lot of work (holding focus isn’t easy when you’re physically holding one eye open).
My point in all of this? Again, it’s okay to say “no” to visitors after having a baby.
Other things you don’t have to do?
You don’t have to let people come to the hospital.
You don’t have to let people hold the baby.
You don’t have to return calls or text back right away.
YOU NEED TIME TO ADJUST. Some people understand this more than others but do NOT feel bad if you need to educate them…nicely. Remind them that you just had a baby, you’re not sleeping, you’re trying to get into a routine, your body is still recovering and you would be happy to have them over once things settle down a little. No hard feelings! If they love you and respect you, they’ll understand. So do not feel bad about it. Just be honest, mama…it’s okay to tell it like it is!
You’re the mom and you know what’s best for you and baby. So if you need to nap instead of that visit you scheduled, cancel. If your baby is fussy and overstimulated… cancel. There will be plenty of time for everyone to meet the baby once it’s the right time for you.
How did you handle visitors after you having a baby?
Margaret5 years ago
My parents came right away and stayed for a few days, and then left. The whole week after that, which was our first full week home- we didn’t have a single person in our house besides us! People kept asking to come visit and I just said no- at least for that first week. I literally cried every night around 5-6ish, so having people just stop by on their way home from work was a no go for me! Glad I did it- and will definitely do it again!
Lizzie1 year ago
Thank you for validating the decision my husband and I already made about this. We are expecting our first in October and besides my mom helping out during the first week, we are having a strict no visitor policy – starting at the hospital. My husband’s family is quite large and many of them won’t understand, but this is what is best for our family and I won’t apologize for it! Thanks for reminding mom’s that it is ok to say “no”!
Nicolette Rodrigues10 months ago
I don’t want anyone at my home or at the hospital when I have my baby in 2 weeks. It’s overwhelming enough as it is, we also have a hyperactive dog, and he needs time to adjust too. It’s just better for people to wait, plus it’s our first. We want to spend time together as a little family. We already had our gender reveal ruined, I couldn’t bear having this ruined too.