To my first grader on your first day of school,
Can you believe summer is over and you’re about to start another year of school? You’ve been going to some type of school since you were 2 years old and I’ll tell ya, it never gets easier for your mama. Sure, I look forward to some peace and quiet during the day and not having to break up a million fights between you and your sister. And I yell out in frustration that I can’t WAIT for school to start so you guys stop driving me crazy.
But truth be told, each first day of school is rough for your mama.
It’s another milestone.
It means your another year older.
It means you’re more independent.
It means one less “first” we have together.
Well here come the tears and I blame that all on a mother’s love. A mother’s love is something fierce. It’s loving you so hard, even when you drive me up a wall.
It’s loving you so hard that even when I’m yelling at your for misbehaving, all I really want to do is grab you and hold you close.
A mother’s love is doing everything wrong but everything right at the same time.
It’s knowing you’re not perfect and knowing I’m not either.
It’s figuring it out together; you’re growing and learning and so am I.
Sometimes that causes us to butt heads and sometimes we can’t see each other’s point of view. And I hate to say it but that’s only going to get worse. You’re going to hate me one day for grounding you or setting a curfew. And as much as I want you to experience life and make memories, I want you to be safe while doing it.
A mother’s love is wanting to protect you but somehow letting you experience life for yourself.
You let me hold your hand when we walked into school to meet your teacher the other day. And whether or not you know it, that meant the world to me.
You still hid behind me when it was time to introduce yourself to the teacher and I told you to stop being shy and to get out from behind me. But I secretly loved how safe you felt with me as your wall.
While filling out your school questionnaire, you answered “spending time with my mom” when the question was “what do you like to do when you’re not at school?”
You still cry for me when you get hurt.
You still want to snuggle me on the couch.
You’re constantly telling me to watch whatever it is you’re doing.
And to be honest, I don’t know how many more years of that I have with you. And that’s the scariest part of all.
As you step on that bus tomorrow and walk through the school doors, I want you to know how proud I am of you.
As your mom, I will always be your biggest cheerleader and number one fan.
I want you to remember to be kind and treat others the way you want to be treated. You don’t like how it feels when people are mean to you so please remember to be nice to everyone. Even if they aren’t nice back, you know what’s right and what’s wrong.
Pay attention to your teacher and be thankful you’re getting a good education. Which of course is important but remember to have fun while you’re doing it. So many life lessons happen outside of the teaching plans.
And most importantly, remember how much I love you. I love you so much I sometimes lose my temper when you’re acting out. I love you so much that I work super hard to make sure you have everything you need. I love you so much that I say “no” when you ask to do certain things. Just know it’s because I love you and only want what’s best for you. And I always will.
Have the best first day, kiddo. I’ll be patiently waiting for you with open arms to get off that bus after school!