Comparing ourselves.
Little Me circa 1990; because every post needs at least one picture 😉 |
We’ve all done this at some point or another in our lives. We’re not skinny enough, or tall enough, or rich enough, or pretty enough. We don’t have as many friends, or go out to dinner as much, or drive as nice of a car.
I think I’m speaking for a lot of other women when I say it happens a lot in the blog world too. We see another blog that started after us growing faster than our blog, or we see another blogging friend get more opportunities. We see a happier marriage, a smarter baby, or a nicer wardrobe and are left to sit there and compare our own lives to the lives we’re reading about on the computer.
I try really hard not to compare myself to others but I think it’s in our genetic makeup. As much as we appreciate what we have in our lives and are thankful for the things we have that others may not, it’s hard not to feel like it’s personal. Why doesn’t this person like me? Why didn’t this company want to work with me? Why didn’t I get the same things that this person did?
Remember picking teams in elementary school? How they made you stand there in a blob while the Team Captains picked players one by one? Were you ever the last person picked? I’m pretty sure I was. At that point, it wasn’t a popularity contest anymore but based solely on the basis of the kind of athlete you were. It’s not like I had two left feet but let’s be real, I was always more interested in chasing the boys around the playground and mapping out my shopping trip than excelling at gym class kickball.
But regardless, getting picked last hurts. At that point, it feels personal. Same goes for losing followers, getting hateful comments or having friends forget about you in the shuffle of everyday life. But when it all comes down to it, we really should be happy with what we have and remember that someone always has it worse than us.
People are also more likely to share the good things in their lives and leave out the bad, so why should we believe anything other than that when it comes to what gets shared in the blog world? Maybe that lovey dovey post you saw was the result of making up after a huge blowout. Or maybe that person who just announced their pregnancy has had multiple miscarriages but has chosen not to share.
Someone is always going to have more money, or be liked more, or wear better clothes, etc. But the important thing to remember is to be thankful for what we have, make the most of what we have, and celebrate what we have. I absolutely love the blogging world and have made such wonderful friendships, and could also care less if I ever become blog famous. Of course I love connecting with those who read my blog and let’s be real, who doesn’t love free stuff? But I started this blog as a place to deal with everything that was going on in my life at the time and although I love all the bells and whistles that come along with blogging now, I’m going to write because it’s an outlet and what I love, not because I want to make people like me.
I’ve learned a few lessons the hard way and I’d have to say that learning not everyone is going to like me for me was one of the hardest. I like to be liked, just like everyone else, and seeing others “liked more” sometimes hurts because I don’t know what I did wrong. However, I know it’s nothing I’ve done wrong, it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. The popular girls will always be popular and the pretty girls will always be pretty. However, deep down I know that I am working on being the best wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc that I can possibly be, and at the end of the day, that’s what I should be focusing on.
Can you relate?
“She’s super fab and puts the “Mer” in America…Check her out!”
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