Friday, October 24, 2014

Inner thoughts.


My mind is full of crazy thoughts at all times. Seriously, my brain is like the Energizer Bunny and never stops running day and night. And I'm not kidding about the night; I'm usually up from 2-4 am because once I wake up, I just can't fall back asleep.

I spent most of the night awake last night, despite the fact that Paislee slept through the night for the first time since she was 4 months old. There's so much going on inside this little head of mine and I don't even know how to start sorting through it. 

I miss my husband. 

I'm stressed about the holidays and travel plans. 

I'm trying to find work/life balance. 

I have way too many clothes. 

I have nothing to wear. 

How do you fix a weed eater? 

I think my eyes are getting worse...

Why can't I sleep at night? 

How do I wean this child? 

Why won't Nolan listen?

Why does Nolan tackle his sister every minute of the day? 

Why won't my dog come downstairs? 

Why do my neighbors leave their dog outside 24/7?

Should I report it? 

Will I ever have a career?

Why does Groopdealz have the best deals and suck me in every time?

Should we move when Z gets home? 

What will happen after the Army?

Are my kids happy? 

Am I doing the best job I can? 

Why can't I stop buying them clothes? 

How is there so much dog hair when I just vacuumed? 

Will this stress ever go away? 

And so much more friends. I feel like a basket case right now and I think the best thing I can do is sit down, write everything out, and make a plan. I tend to take on too much and spread myself too thin. I focus and harp on things that need to be forgotten and I need to start taking things one at a time, day by day. I wish I could say I have it all together but I most certainly don't. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I'm so thankful for the life and opportunities I've been given and I know in the grand scheme of things, these little things don't matter. 

This weekend is going to be dedicated towards organizing my thoughts and life. Cleaning, purging, sorting, etc. We have a busy weekend planned but I'm going to find time for myself. Maybe a bubble bath, pedicure, good book, who knows. But I need to shake this stress and list making and organization is the best way I know how.

How you combat stress? Anxiety? Tips?!

Cheers to the weekend friends... have a good one :) xo


Thursday, October 23, 2014

It starts with us.

I saw a post the other day about stay-at-home-mom's complaining and how we're not allowed to. And yes, no one wants to hear someone complain 24/7 and if you're that unhappy, change it right? Wrong. Well, right. Well ultimately, it depends on the situation. 

Sometimes SAHMs don't want to be SAHMs. Maybe they're a military family and they are having a hard time finding a job. Maybe they can't afford childcare and their only option is to stay at home with the kids. Maybe they're terminally ill and they want to spend their time at home. The point is, we never know someone's situation... so why are we judging? 

I see judging left and right happening in the mom world. Like literally, every single day. And I will admit, I once judged a woman on something she said to her child and when I talked with other people about it, I realized I had no right to make any assumptions without knowing the back story. So yes, were human and we're going to make mistakes. But I learned from that mistake and I've always thought twice before thinking something negative and making judgments on other moms. 

My child had a full on meltdown the other day at the doctors office. I was exhausted and didn't have a single grain of energy left in my body to deal with it. It was nap time and his sister had a doctors appointment and the only thing I could do was sit there and let him finish his tantrum. I mean, I couldn't leave (trust me, I wanted to). 

Death stares. Evil looks. Yep, I looked like a terrible mother. But did they know my husband was deployed? Did they know I haven't slept through the night since he left? (Well actually in 4 years...) Did they know it's just me; 24/7? Nope. All they saw was a mom on her phone, letting her child scream and flail around like a crazy person. Little did they know I was messaging my husband on my phone, my deployed husband, (who I hadn't talked to all day) and trying to fight the tears forming in my eyes. 

It's exhausting being the bad guy all day. Timeouts are no fun for anyone and if we're being honest, my go-to is raising my voice when he doesn't listen. I couldn't do it anymore that day and my solution was to just ignore it. I knew he was tired and I knew he just wanted nothing to do with being there. And instead of fighting it, that's what I chose to do. 

I used to see kids walk onto airplanes and cringe. I used to whisper "my kid won't act like that" when I heard someone else's child screaming for a Twix bar in the grocery store. But all kids are different. And all parents are different. And everyone's situation is different. 
This doesn't go for just parenting... it goes for life. I've tried really hard to stop myself before I think or say anything negative. I think we've all gossiped or judged at some point but all it really does is create problems. And whether or not you ever vocalize it, why even think it? 

It's easier said than done; as humans, we're quick to judge or think things based on what we see. But that whole "never judge a book by it's cover" thing? Yea, it's real. And we need to start remembering that in our day-to-day. We should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. 

I've tried to worry more about myself and less about other people. Who cares that they let their kids stay up till midnight? Who cares they eat gluten-free? Who cares they spank or don't spank? WHO CARES. We all have the right to parent however we want. We all have the right to complain about whatever we want. We all have the right to do whatever we want. 

Less judging, more kindness. More positive, less negative. If we want the world to become a better place, we need to take responsibility for it ourselves. 

It starts in our hearts, our minds, and our actions. It starts with us

So did that particular author have the right to tell SAHMs who complain to SHUT THE EFF UP? I don't know. Because just because she's a stay-at-home-mom who chooses to stay home and enjoys it, it may not be the case for everyone. I love staying home with my kids and I never take a single day of that for granted. But if I want to complain about it, it's my right to do so. Motherhood isn't always glamorous or easy and whether a mother works outside the home, from the home, or strictly takes care of the kids and house, we all have one thing in common. We're WOMEN. Who deserve to be treated with respect and support from one another. Not scolded for having a bad day and wanting someone to lean on for support. 

If we can't rely on each other, who can we rely on? 


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Trend alert: Western.

American Pretty romper c/o (similar here)// Cowboy boots via Rack Room Shoes c/o// The Limited purse (old but similar here)// Metal Marvels necklace//Photo credit: Amy Hess Photography

I love cowboy boots. And although some people may think they're only for country concerts and line dancing at bars, I beg to differ. Especially this season, hints of western/cowboy influence are all over the place! Even on the runway :) 

My favorite ways to wear them? With skirts, rompers, and shorts. They can still be worn with leggings or jeans if you choose to do so, but because I have short legs, I think wearing them with shorter bottoms elongates me. Maybe it's in my head but that's just what I usually do. 

Of course the changing of seasons comes into play here. Georgia is starting to cool down but we've still had bursts of 80 degree weather here and there. This happened to be one of those days. Once it cools down, I will most likely pair these with skinny jeans and oversized sweaters. Get this girl a chai tea latte and let's call it a day, shall we?

There are so many different styles to choose from; heel, no heel, short, tall, etc. I normally wear a lot of black but in the fall, a lot of my wardrobe consists of browns, yellows, and greens. Hence why I chose a pair of brown boots. 

I love them because they can totally change an outfit; this outfit is dressy but wearing them with jean shorts and a crop top would make the perfect casual outfit. So versatile if you ask me :)

People often ask me how to dress on trend and in things other than yoga pants and t-shirts while having young kids. Well here's my secret; find things that look super nice but are easy to move around in. These boots from Rack Room Shoes are ultra comfy but trendy and complete the outfit. Because I'm still nursing, this romper isn't exactly practical when it comes to that but I knew we would be back before she needed to eat again ;) Stay tuned for a post on that down the road...

Tell me... are you a fan of cowboy boots? Why or why not?