“I have trust issues”; the most cliche line we’ve ever heard and even used, right? But for a lot of us, it’s true.
Since when did “lying” become the norm and more of a truth than the truth?
I could sit here and tell you all of the times I’ve caught people in a lie, but we might be here until tomorrow. For some reason, I just have a sixth sense when it comes to it.
And to be completely honest with you, I think a part of it is that I’m not like normal people. Most people trust someone until they give them a reason not to. But me, I don’t start trusting someone for a long time, so basically, you have to earn my trust from the beginning.
I have met dishonest people in every chapter, at every stage, and in every scenario of my life. And I just don’t get why.
It takes more energy and effort to lie and keep a story straight than to just tell the truth. So this got me thinking; why do people lie?
Are they afraid of hurting the ones they love? Are they afraid of losing them? Are they afraid of getting in trouble and in turn, being alone? Are they afraid of being ridiculed? Are they ashamed of who they are? Does there come a point when it becomes a real problem?
Lying is only a small part of trusting someone. You have to feel connected to someone. You need to feel like they are genuinely interested in you, your life, and enhancing it. Lying will cause you to lose someone’s trust but there’s much more in it than just that.
I’ve always lived by a quote from the beautiful Marilyn Monroe:
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
Although I try to lead my life by this quote, I’m in amazement that we even have to deal with lying at all.
I want to be loved for who I am. I want to inspire people. I want to be myself. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to be surrounded by people who love me and would never try to hurt me.
But lies hurt. And feeling as though you can’t trust someone hurts.
How do you deal with a liar? I don’t have an answer for you. I guess it depends on the lie and if you can get over it. It takes years to build trust and only a second to lose it. Why put in the effort and throw it away so quickly?
So my question for all of you; how do you move on and learn to trust again? Is it a process? Is it easy?
My family and friends mean the world to me and I have always held up more of the “forgive” than “forget” part of the deal. I strive to give people the benefit of the doubt and look for the good deep down, but after years and years of deceit and hurtful words, when is enough, enough?
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