It’s been awhile since I wrote a letter to my little munchkins and with everything that’s happened this week, I felt like it was time for a little note to them…
To my babies,
Yes, even you Nolan. Although you hate when I call you my baby, you always will be. Just like our favorite book… as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. But you’re far from a baby. You’re like a grown man now and it seriously baffles me. I can remember holding you and nursing you like it were yesterday and now you’re a little human with wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. You talk in full sentences, problem solve, and think critically. You know exactly what you want and boy is there a problem if you don’t get it. We’ve had to frequent your timeout spot recently but I try and give you multiple warnings before I resort to that. I know this is a crazy time for you too and you and your sister are always my first and most important priority.
And speaking of your sister, Paislee, boy are you a pistol. You have an ear infection and some nasty cough now and are so, so dramatic. I guess I’ll get used to it because that’s what little girls are… drama, drama, drama. You’ve been extra needy and snuggly and although it’s hard to get anything done, I haven’t complained about the extra snuggle time.
You guys absolutely love each other; you wrestle and roll around like you’re the same size and girlfriend, I’m not sure how you hold your own. You love to watch Nolan run laps around the kitchen and just think it’s the funniest thing in the world. Nolan, you love to kiss her and rub her head like mommy does and sometimes, I have to remind you she’s a baby and you can’t be as rough as you are. But most of the time, she doesn’t mind and she lunges at you for more.
Nolan, you still sleep with mommy. I gave up on your own bed because with daddy gone, it’s nice to have you there. Paislee, you sleep in your crib except after your last feeding around 5:00 or 6:00 am and I’m too tired to move you and risk waking you up again. Somehow, the bed seems even smaller with daddy gone and I can only imagine the cluster it’s going to be when he gets home. You’ll both be kicked out at that point.. sorry!
I’ve been working part-time but soon enough, I’ll be lessening my hours. With daddy gone and mommy’s schedule being so sporadic, it’s not fair to you guys. I know I’ll be working full-time again once you’re both in school and if I can spend this time with you now, I want to. Especially with only one parent here, you need that parent here as much as possible.
It’s finally cooling down in this sauna we know as Georgia and we love to be outside. Nolan, you love to ride your bike while I strap your sister in the Moby Wrap and walk Charlie too. It never fails though, by the time we’re back on our street, I’m carrying your bike and you’re walking Charlie. It’s hard for me to carry your bike but I can’t help but admire your desire to ride that instead of in the stroller. You’re strong willed, like your mommy, and I don’t mind carrying it the last leg of the walk so you feel accomplished for the first part of it.
Nolan, you love to race and watch “Etflix”. Beethoven, Spy Kids, and Air Bud are some of your current favorites. You also love when I tell you Goldie Locks before bedtime and you ask me to “shh shh shh” you. Lady, you like to nurse (obviously) and I’ve recently started rocking you and singing to you. You seem to like that much better than crying it out and I will rock you forever if it means you go to be that much more peacefully.
You’ve both done so well adjusting to everything going on. I’m so thankful you’ll never remember any of this but I also feel bad for your dad. These ages are so amazing to me. You go from these little humans that do nothing but poop, eat, and sleep and then a few months pass and you’re walking, talking, and giving me attitude. But I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
You make me laugh, you make me cry, and you make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. You don’t care if I’m not wearing makeup or wear the same shirt for three days. You’re okay with Burger King drive-thru (again) and don’t think twice when the babysitter walks in while I go to work for a few hours. You adapt; you’re resilient and you are happy running around the house in “Elsa capes” aka tied blankets or running circles around me while I sit still and tackle you when you least expect it. You’re perfect in every way and I’ll never know how I got so lucky. Being a mom is the craziest and most difficult thing I have ever done but it’s something I never knew I wanted, and needed so badly until I became yours.
You two will always be at the center of our worlds. You mean more to us than we can ever tell you but I hope you’ll look back on pictures and the emails and pictures I send you and see at least a portion of it. You’re our everything and we love you so much.