I’m a hopeless romantic, or as some may call me, semi-delusional. I’m in love with the idea of love, I cry at any chick flick I watch, and whole heartedly believe in romance.
I’m also a firm advocate of never settling for anything less than you deserve.
Do you know someone in a toxic relationship? I do. I know a few people actually, but unfortunately, it’s something that they have to realize on their own. I myself was in a toxic relationship and no matter what anyone told me, I only saw what I wanted to see; I wanted to believe that what we had was love and that it was forever.
I can’t stand to see people walked all over: cheating, lying, verbal abuse, control, and constant fighting are NO way to live your life. Being fearful that you will never find someone else to love you or thinking you don’t deserve better couldn’t be further from the truth.
Everyone deserves to be loved and treated like they’re the most important thing in the world. You should never be treated as an option; you should always be a priority. You shouldn’t be ridiculed for the smallest things you do or feel like you can’t be yourself without it causing an argument.
Life is short, it is precious, and it isn’t guaranteed. We deserve to be with someone who is going to enhance our life, not make it more difficult. We should laugh and play and be ourselves.
“When we’re good, we’re good but when we’re bad, we’re terrible” used to be my excuse. We fought when we were drinking or when we were apart or when he went out for “guys nights” (should have been my first indication it wasn’t going to work but that’s a whole other story).
But I was trying to hold onto something that wasn’t there; a future. I have seen so many couples that are afraid of the unknown, and stay together rather than accepting they just don’t work and parting ways. No one likes a breakup, they aren’t fun and they hurt like hell.
But doesn’t it hurt worse to constantly feel as though your life is in shambles and that your relationship is crumbling? Or to hear that someone doesn’t love you anymore? To hear cuss words and be talked down to? To be told you can’t hang out with your friends? To feel as though everything you do is wrong? And worst of all, to start to believe it?
Why would you want to stay with that person?
Like I said, this is something that most people need to figure out on their own. But because I’ve lived it, I feel as though it’s my duty to tell you I’m living proof it will work out.
I’m happily married and hear “I love you” multiple times a day. He encourages me, supports me, and loves me for who I am, when because of past relationships, I began to believe no one ever would.
You can do better. You will do better. But you have to believe you can, take a leap of faith, and know that someone better will be there to catch you.
“Conquering life one step and one museum at a time.”