Before your minds head to the gutter, let me explain. I’m talking about gender here, not the other type of sex, people!
I want to talk about opposite sex friendships; when single, involved, and married.
I’ve always loved hanging out with the guys; sports, pizza, and just down right honesty are totally up my alley. No sugar coating anything, everything out on the table.
I’ve never had a problem having guys that were just friends. Although most of my life was spent in relationships, I still maintained guy friends and my boyfriends had no problem with this.
Most of the time, girls can be friends with a guy and not have any romantic interest in them whatsoever. However, guys are a different breed, and this isn’t necessarily always the case. At some point or another, when two single individuals are friends, the idea of being more than that crosses their mind.
This may be true for girls too, but I’d say 80% of the time, it’s the guy wondering “what if?”. Agree to disagree if you will, but this is just my opinion in looking at past scenarios.
Being married is a totally different playing field. You may or may not agree with me, but I feel that unless the couple is collectively friends with an individual, it is inappropriate to have a friend of the opposite sex.
I may be ripped apart for saying that, but I don’t think there is a need to be texting, calling, or chatting with another male or female when your spouse is not friends with this person as well. Although it may have been the case in the past, things change when getting married.
I haven’t had a huge problem with this. I have met and adored most of my husband’s friends from high school and college and vice versa. However, a few have crossed the line and at that point, we decided together that there was no need to continue those relationships anymore.
It’s not that we don’t trust each other, because we wholeheartedly do. Most of the time, it’s that we don’t trust other people, or find the need to carry on in a relationship where we are not respected as each other’s husband and wife.
He is not whipped or controlled or any other choice word you may have if you disagree with me. However, we have a mutual understanding that if one of us is uncomfortable in any way, we do whatever necessary to fix the problem. I’m not saying we can’t have friends of the opposite sex; I’m just saying that unless we are both friends with them, we personally do not find the relationship appropriate.
What are your thoughts on guy/girl relationships? Do they change when relationships become more serious, or when you get married?
“Conquering life one step and one museum at a time.”